aaaaa jao bre gadan gadan

pricaju deda i unuk...

deda: jeli sine, sta dobijes kada izdrkas konju...?
unuk: speeermu
deda: a magarcu...?
unuk: speeermu
deda: a sta dobijes kada izdrkas dedi...?
unuk: tokolaaadu

Ja li? Izvini nisam sve citao...
 

ej ukrade mi vic

Sta kaze narkoman kad ga pitaju sta je dobar a sta los trip. Narkoman odgovara: "Dobar trip je kad vidis zmaja, a los je kad zmaj vidi tebe"

Kakva je razlika izmedju guma Good year i 500 potrosenih kondoma
e pa good year je good year a 500 potrosenih kondoma je very good year

Sede 3 tjomana{narkomana} jedan smrka kokain,drugi heroin a treci pushi marihuanu... I sad naradili se oni i kaze ovaj shto je na koki mene je bog poslao ovde da zivim u raju... I ovaj na heroinu ma nije mene je poslao vidi shta sve imam skupa kola dobre ribe itd... I kaze ovaj na marihuani shta je vama ljudi nisam ja nikog poslao 

Military Wisdom I

Military Wisdom I

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least
expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your
unit."
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Aim towards the Enemy."
- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
- U.S. Marine Corps

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are
guaranteed to always hit the ground."
- USAF Ammo Troop

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just
bombed."
- U.S. Air Force Manual

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
- Infantry Journal
------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me."
- U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Tracers work both ways."
- U.S. Army Ordnance

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Five second fuses only last three seconds."
- Infantry Journal

Military Wisdom II

Military Wisdom II

"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever
volunteer to do anything."
- U.S. Navy Swabbie

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
- David Hackworth

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."
- Infantry Journal

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
- Joe Gay

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once."
- Anonymous

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Marine Recruit

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
- Your Buddies


------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than
submarines in the sky."
From an old carrier sailor

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have
enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies;
If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot
pregnant."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a
person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was
forgotten."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a prang (crash) seems
inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the
vicinity as slow and gently as possible."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just
barely kill you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go
near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the
appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is
much
more difficult to fly there."

Dosao Muja u New York i iznajmi stan. Kod je usao u stan vidi da je
stan pun miseva pa odluci da to prijavi gazdi, ali ne zna engleski.
Zovne Mujo gazdu pa ce skontat nesto: 

- "What's the problem?" 
- "Mmmmm .... Tom ..and ... Jerry ... u know ?"
- "Yes, I know!?"
- "Mmm ... e pa Jerry ..."   

Plavusa pita ogledalo: Ogledalce ogledalce ko je najlepsi na svetu?
Ogledalo: Pa miss sveta jebem te glupa

 
 Dobri su

sta rade pirocanci kad im je hladno?okupe se oko svece..a sta rade kad im je bas bas hladno?upale svecu

Dobar, dobar!!!

i jos jedan...

negde na kragujevackoj pijaci ...


Krenuo tip da kupi diplomu nekog fakulteta. Dodje na pijacu
pita Cigu,  - alo bre, brate posto diplome?

Ciga ce: "Imas bato:

medicinu za 5000 eura,
ekonomski 3000 eura,

prava za 2000 eura."

Tip kaze: U bre pobratime,skupo. Imam samo 1500
eura a hteo bih diplomu sa medicine, znas to mi nekako zvuci
najbolje.

Ciga ce: Moze bato i za 1500 eura, al moram malo da te propitam!

 

evo jedan pravi crnjak


Jednog lepog suncanog dana na groblju se vrsio sprovod
i posto je pao jedan venac sa sanduka stari deda krenuo da ga vrati
a glasi iz pozadine : "Sta je matori , hvatas bidermajer"

Evo jednog polucrnjaka polupolitickog,moje proizvodnje


Ko je ubio Djindjica?

BATLER!         


 hehehe get it get it?